Week #200: [10th] Tashimine <There Is No Spoon>

[cp1983]

Week #200 [10th] Captain
Mission Name: There Is No Spoon
Mission Type: Solo
Mission Participants: Aries Tashimine
Mission Specifics: ZG Qualifying Mission [only requires grade]*

"Why doesn't anyone ever rest in peace?" muttered Aries in his sleep as he clutched the covers on his bed with both hands and forced himself up against the headboard. "I can't believe how much I'm starting to sweat. I just can't get that look on Alicia's face out of mind" he continued as he turned towards an open window and slumped down against his pillow gazing at the moon and stars. It was well into the next day when Friday slowly became Saturday yet Alicia's final parting still haunted Aries. In the aftermath of such a tragedy the area outside Aries' office and barracks affected by the resounding explosion was cordoned off. "CC46 won't let me or anyone else even near it. I can't even pay my last respects and light some incense! No one can! How messed up is that?"

Trying to forget so he could fall back to sleep a cool, gentle breeze blew in from outside and touched at his face and covers. It blew in and out frequently messing up his hair and moving his covers around as Aries simply faced the other side of his bed. "I guess it has to do with the people she was involved with and what they did to her right?" mentioned Gesta as Aries continued to keep his eyes open as the image of his late love ran through his mind like an errant locomotive. "There is no doubt in my mind about that. I saw tears and from those tears I felt a myriad of emotions, each one meant to drive me to the brink" added Aries as he turned back and began facing the breeze, "I know it's not in my place to ask but do you think you'll ever get over something like this Aries?"

"Probably not" was all Aries could say as he blinked a few times while sniffing the air then tilting himself up, "She really left an impact you know, on the ground near my divisions barracks. I was told there are fires still burning you know. Whether or not they are inextinguishable still remains to be seen however. Even the ground surrounding the area is still unstable, damn. I don't think anyone is going to be able to set foot in that area for quite some time...kind of sad." Looking towards the moon Aries grit his teeth then fell lifelessly back into the pile of covers on his bed. "Probably not. I'm really tired of staring at this ceiling" whispered Aries as he struggled to close his eyes and began to focus on the moon's reflection on his office door.

"If anything is going to haunt me it's going to be her lingering scent, burnt flesh and smoldering hair and clothing. It's nauseating enough to make me hug the toilet" contemplated Aries as he thought over and over again about entering the restricted area where Alicia's life was taken. "I know you want to honor her memory by saying a few words and lighting some incense but you'd be breaking several laws in the process Aries" interrupted Gesta as the image of his spirit crept into his mind and tried to convince him to let it go for the time being. "I really don't want to hear your voice right now Gesta. I'm you and you are me so it should be easy for you to feel how my soul feels right now, right?" responded Aries as he crept up in his bed then continued staring at the moon outside. "The world must look so ugly from all the way up there."

"Very well then but heed these words of wisdom won't you Aries. The pain of loss is never meant to go away permanently. It is always meant to stay close to your heart so the very feeling of it never goes away. It's also meant to reside somewhere in our mind so the memory of it never fades, do you understand? You'd be dishonoring her name and the person she was by honoring her in the way you're no doubt thinking of right now." The more his spirit spoke the more Aries felt like waking up and heading towards the window. "There's nothing there you know, where she used to be. If there's a trace of her soul or spirit left behind not even I can find it. Even now as I sit here with my elbows bent over the sill I can't even tell where she was standing. I think it's amazing how every trace of her existence was consumed in such a blast, so I don't need a lecture right now" responded Aries as his spirit got the hint and calmly went back to her regimen of meditation.

"They sealed off the entire are for crying out loud! Going to such extreme measures for someone who has chosen to remain almost entirely anonymous and off the grid, so to speak. It fills me with so much anger I can hardly contain it! Dishonoring her memory?! Yeah, I guess it would be disgracing Alicia but why in the hell can't I? Have I awoken into a dream or is this still the same cold, harsh reality I encounter on a regular basis?" pondered Aries as he reached out with his right hand trying to capture the moon between his thumb and forefinger. "How can you watch from all the way up there and opt to do nothing?! Why?! No god would condone suffering of any kind to anyone or anything, so why? You can question god's motives all you want but in the end everyone would say they're justified." Steadily climbing out of the window in his quarters Aries kept reaching for the moon as the light shone down on him with titillating magnificence.

"If that's the case, if that's truly the case then my actions are more than justifiable!" Aries muttered under his breath as he slowly approached the yellow tape and black curtain which served as both plot marker and crime scene. "If anything this crap is doing the disgracing and dishonoring! Not even so much as a single moving word was ever directed towards her passing! No service and no love and support from anyone! I'm sorry Alicia but I take everything I said back about leaving me alone - you're probably more alone than I am right now." Gripping his fists tightly Aries stopped just short of the tape then looked first to his left then to his right. Figuring his actions were being monitored by CC46 he reached out with his right hand and tore the barrier down.

"I never held real power Alicia, I'm sorry. To have real power is to be able to sway the hearts and minds of others, not break them or corrupt them. If anything I shouldn't be here right now but I feel something is compelling me to do so! What these people are doing here is wrong yet nothing is being done to change their minds. It seems I still can't do anything real to help you rest in peace Alicia, forgive me. It turns out what I have isn't real power after all. It's just a weak, pathetic man playing with the notion of having real power all by himself." Thinking long and hard about his future actions Aries dropped to his knees in prayer and folded his hands together. "Here I shall remain until the rising of the sun, forever in solace and catharsis" whispered Aries as a bright light flashed down on him from above in the vain of several soldiers marked with the crest of the 1st Division.

"Tashimine-taichou you are in direct violation of Article V: Section 23, entering a restricted area without proper authorization!" ordered the squad's leader as a stiff, shrewd man looking like a chesspiece approached Aries with everyone else backing him up from behind. "Kindly step away from the crime scene at once or you will be placed under arrest."

"I don't understand why you can't just leave the two of us in peace" asked Aries as he continued chanting a prayer before a small grouping of flame and sakura embers. "I heard no one was seriously injured and furthermore no lives were taken so why are you still bothering with this?!" Aries demanded to know as he bit his tongue and stopped in the middle of his prayer. "To make matters worse I had absolutely nothing to do with this debacle except for the fact that I had been in direct contact with the accused! Now nothing more than the deceased. I know you're trying to pin the blame for this mess on me so why don't you just come out with and say it to my face, cowards!" shouted Aries as the entire group retreated backwards in lieu of the captain's comments.

"You were given the report where you not? Tashimine-taichou" mentioned the squad leader as Aries took a moment to bow his head while resting a flower on Alicia's makeshift grave. "I was and I read it through thoroughly several times in fact. I still don't understand the need for further involvement from your division and CC46 though" continued Aries as he was approached face to face by the squad leader, "Even if you knew what good would it exactly do you? You'd just do something reckless and thoughtless without any regard for human life! Or did you think we'd simply forgotten about that incident at the marketplace?!" cursed the squad leader as Aries' haori was drug up by the squad leader's hands.

[Pt. 1 of 2: 1590]

[cp1983]

"That's what you're thinking isn't it? I don't believe you! How unbelieavably naive you are Tashimine-taichou. I'm placing you under arrest for continuing to disrespect the laws we've already set in place in this area" uttered the squad leader as he waved for two men to bring over a set of reiatsu-cancelling restraints as well as pacification equipment. "Sorry for your loss Tashimine-taichou but you're going to have to come with us now. I promise we'll do everything in our power to get your sentence reduced in whatever way we are able."

"Are you really?" whispered Aries as his fists began to shake with tension and anxiety from the squad leader's foreboding statements, "What did you just say?" responded the squad leader as Aries saw out of the corner of his left eye the restraints fully opened and targeted for his left wrist. "Are we really sorry for what? Are you talking about the loss of your late love, Alicia? If that's what you meant then you should know of course we are" the squad leader finished saying as the restraints touched Aries' skin only to shake loose and fall straight to the dirt. "No you're not! I wish you could see your aura right now because your spiritual wavelength is oscillating erratically."

"What the hell does any of that crap mean anyway?!" yelled the squad leader as the two men directly behind Aries' left and right arm gripped their chests and collapsed to the dirt alongside the restraints. "It means you're lying" replied Aries as he glared at the squad leader then brushed his hands off the edges of his haori's front lip with his right hand. "I'll tell you something else you assholes neglected to take into account before you so rudely interrupted by memorial to Alicia" added Aries as he continued staring the squad leader down while walking swiftly into the moonlight's basking glow. "Yeah and just what the hell is that?!" responded the squad leader nervously as he fell to his knees in the same fashion his other squad members did.

"You just keep making the same mistakes over and over don't you. I wish you could read minds because I'm telling you to go **** yourself right now you pompous ass!" mocked the squad leader as Aries continued exuding control over his captain-class spiritual pressure forcing the entire squad to remain compliant. "Now, now! Lets not resort to name calling dickhead! Wait, scratch that last one. I'm sorry to say I had absolutely nothing to do with Alicia's unusual hollow form or how she got here. What I do know is I was the only one around at the time who was trying to stop her. I didn't have anything to do with her suicide either so why does it say in your damn report that I did?! Huh?! I'm getting such a bad rap around here it's sickening." Shoving his hands inside his obi the 10th Division Captain stood over the submissive squad wanting to cool down but ultimately heard something he wished he hadn't.

"That ex-girlfriend of yours has been the talk of the town lately. Little is known on who it was exactly that performed soul burial on her and sent her here. The only things that are known is that everyone firmly believes you had a hand in turning her hollow and causing her to go rogue, Tashimine-taichou! Through extensive research and information gathering you're being linked to some group called "The Organization."

Aries' blood began to boil uncontrollably as he started to seethe through the gaps in his teeth. At the very instant he heard such a thing directed towards him he withdrew his sword and drove it like a skewer through the squad leader's right hand. A damp, crimson mass slowly flowed from out of the jagged wound and began to stain the lush, green grass. As blood seeped into the ground Aries lifted up his right foot then stepped on the side of his tsuka driving the blade deeper. "You're right you know! I really should be learning from my mistakes. I seem to be making the same ones a lot these days for some stupid reason" conveyed Aries as he knelt down in front of the crippled squad leader, "It's not like it's your fault or anything" he concluded as he spat in the squad leader's face. "Screw you pig! What the hell were you talking about earlier anyway before you trailed off?!" mentioned the squad leader as Aries leaned in closer and closer until he met the man eye to eye.

"You didn't say your prayers..." whispered Aries as he gripped the squad leader's neck with his right hand and quickly snapped it sending it sliding down to his left shoulder. "You see! You didn't even say a few words, nothing at all. As for the rest of you letting you go would prove quite bothersome so I've decided to execute you all. I was going to let you all live seeing as where in a sacred place but one word sealed your fate: Organization, prepare to die." Drawing his right arm backwards Aries cleanly removed his zanpakuto from the squad leader's right hand then split his skull into sections after a fluid decapitation. Blood sprang forth from the squad leader's severed neck that it arced into the sky before spilling down on his comrades. "I'm really not the kind of person you piss off this early in the morning! Word of warning never approach someone in the way that you fools did without getting their side of the story first!" declared Aries as he relinquished his hold of the remaining men only to flaunt his speed, criss-crossing his sword in and out felling the rest of the group.

"So they know, don't they" spoke Gesta as her echoing voice coupled with the many arrays of blood reverberating against the night somehow calmed the primitive beast known as Aries, down. "They've known all along and probably sent these corpses after me to confirm what they already knew. I wouldn't be surprised if a great many here have already aligned themselves with this "Organization." Thrusting his right foot outward Aries lowered it close to the blood-soaked ground then drove several dismembered bodies several yards away from where he was standing. "So that clinches it Aries you can't trust any of the higher-ups anymore! It's safe to assume they know more about the "Organization" then you and are simply looking to rid themselves of you and your inner hollow."

"If they have pertinent information on the "Organization" which I require then how do you suggest I go about obtaining it Gesta?" deliberated Aries as he quickly turned his attention back towards praying for Alicia's wayward soul. "Hollow or not you didn't deserve to go out in the way that you did. I really wish you had left something behind so I can give it a proper burial, damnit! Such a freak explosion didn't leave **** behind! It was fortunate no one was seriously hurt or died being this close to my division's barracks. I of course would be the only intended suspect practically eliminating anyone or anything else out there, crap." Resting himself down in the warm, windblown grass underneath a bright full moon Aries listened to his spirit while nodding off.

"This is your reality after all Aries so you'll be presented with a choice. If and when you make this choice will you come to the conclusion that everything within your reality is a lie and false. If you're never able to uncover the truth in this harsh reality of yours then the choices you make will be of little consequence in the end won't they. You told me once that I am you and you are me, didn't you? If you are my eyes then allow me to be your eyes for you Aries. But if we're both unable to tell the difference between what is considered true and what is false then all is lost. You need to find out where the lies end and the truth begins. If you aren't able to do this then neither of us can continue moving forward."

The entire time his spirit was talking her master was already sound asleep. Inside his troubled mind Aries began piecing together a very large puzzle as drool slid down the sides of his cheeks, "There is no spoon" mumbled Aries as he inched himself closer to the exact spot Alicia died and never woke up.

[1590 + 1414 = 3004 :: RFG]